I've a Poem/Win a Book
Okay, I finished a poem last week, the first one in forever. I’d
post it here, but it still needs to go through the vetting process,
like the background check on a potential Supreme Court candidate before
a nomination so that the government can find out about all of his truly
astonishing and semi-hilarious proclivities.
Don’t get me wrong, I think the poem’s pretty hot, probably the best poem in the English language since “Song of Myself,” only not really, not even close. Honestly, it’s probably as lame as most of the stuff that I've ever written.
Like I said, though, I’m not gonna post it here, at least not in its entirety. I thought that it’d be pretty cool if I just posted the last word of each line. I’m mediocre at most aspects of writing poetry, but I’m decent at line endings, or so I've convinced myself. Here it is:
Okay, now that you’ve gotten through that, and I’m sorry if it was a waste of your time, you can enter my new contest. Check it out: if you can tell me what the poem’s about, I’ll send you a signed copy of my book.
I know that that middle stanza sounds kind of dirty, what
with "sweater," "lifts," and "breathlessness," but, trust me, it's
completely innocent. You probably just have a sick mind, and there's
plenty of other stuff on the internet to satisfy your twisted needs, pervert.
Good luck, America.